Friendship and loneliness

Friendship and loneliness are two sides of coin

A – Tips

Acquaintances are in your mind, friends are in your heart.
True friends are people you can trust, be natural with, confide in, depend on, and who will also be frank when you’re being foolish. Don’t expect more than a handful in your life.
One key to friendship is a similar sense of humor. You can be nutty, wacky, goofy around your friends – kid em to death.
Friendship is as friendship does.
A friend makes you believe in yourself.

If most of your friends are of the opposite sex, you’re missing the mark.
You should have social friends APART from business friends.

To have good friends:

  • Be open and honest [but discreet] from the beginning.
  • Build trust.        (takes a long time)
  • Be yourself, which allows people to get close.
  • Give and take. The overly needy have trouble giving. They have a greater need to be wanted than loved. They smother.
  • Be flexible (while retaining your principles).
  • Be realistic.  Don’t put conditions on everything.
  • Accept people for what they are. They will see you are safe and won’t ridicule or criticize them

B – Loneliness

You can be lonely in a house of friends and family. You can taste it in food that has no flavor. It is a part of every man, a companion. It can be an asset. It lights up the values that are important. It makes a man respond to others. It strips us of our pretenses. It is the surest cure for vanity. It reminds us we’re alive, that we have and can make a difference to someone and they to us. It is a sign we have been touched by love. It has many faces – like being misunderstood by colleagues or friends. It happens when people stop sharing or caring. One should not be too hard on those who reach out inappropriately. It is healthier than isolation which characterizes the loner who scorns friends in the name of ‘loftier’ values. Loners are miserable and dare not let themselves feel the pain because they cannot admit it. The lonely person must come to terms with himself; value himself so he knows he’s giving something good when he gives his friendship. Life kills us unless we fill it with something of our own. Friendship is risky, but better than being passive.

[From Ann Landers Encyclopedia]