A – Rate yours
Power: equally shared by folks.
Control: individual differences are tolerated and celebrated.
Intimacy: each person can express full range of feelings.
Power: parents work well as team.
Control: flex. can adjust rules.
Intimacy: full range most of the time.
Power: shoulds and oughts.
Control: by manipulation, guilt, intimidation.
Intimacy: [is threatening] ……
Intimacy: diverse thots & feelings forbidden.
5 Severely disturbed
Power: no clear authority.
Control: chaos, conflicts unresolved.
Intimacy: all collude to avoid source of pain.
[u.s. news 11/20/95]
B – Good families
- Communicate on serious matters.
- Solve quarrels.
- Appreciate each other.
- Share some play, humor, & leisure time, but not all.
- Have clear parental guidelines.
- Share responsibilities.
- Have unity and family traditions.
- Have easy interaction without factions or favorites.
- Have common values.
- Respect each other’s privacy.
- Perform public service.
- Are open to outside help when necessary.
[paraphrased from article in us news ll/28/83]